Much obliged, Jeeves

It is a time of stress at Market Snodsbury as Bertie must protect himself from the affections of Madeleine Bassett. "The prospect of being linked for life to a girl who would come down at breakfast and put her hands over my eyes and say 'Guess who' had given my morale a sickening wallop. It is always my policy in times of crisis to try to look on the bright side, but I make one proviso - viz. that there has to be a bright side to look on, and in the present case there wasn't even the sniff of one." If only Jeeves could come to the aid of the young master ...