CiNii Books - We have to talk : healing dialogues between women and men

Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey, a remarkable husband-and-wife team, challenge bestselling books that say men and women must resign themselves to inherent differences between them. Drawing on their extensive clinical experience as psychiatrist and psychologist, Shem and Surrey outline a program of healing dialogues to help any couple move beyond superficial harmony to genuine connection.. Are gender differences instinctive and immutable? Must men and women resign themselves to accepting these inherent differences and learning to outwit the opposite sex, as some recent bestsellers suggest? Drawing on their highly successful workshops, the authors of this important book argue against these manipulative tactics and outline a program to help couples move closer together (or if they must move apart, to do so with less blame). } We have to talk. For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language, especially when theyre uttered by a female partner. But it doesnt have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their pathbreaking and practical new book. Male relational dreadthat all-too-familiar reaction set off by womens relational yearningscan be tamed, and in its place can emerge true satisfaction for men and women.To demonstrate how this is done, Shem and Surrey take us behind the scenes of their popular workshops. We hear couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex. We watch them wrestle collectively with the gender divide in their relationshipsthe deep disconnects, or impasses, that reflect the vastly different developmental paths men and women have traveled. We see couples learn to bridge the poles of dread and yearning, to emerge from isolation into mutuality. We witness their moments of sadness, humor, and, ultimately, discovery.Filled with moving stories of real people struggling with real problems, We Have to Talk shatters the rules and offers dramatic proof that men and women are not from different planets after all. It is certain to be seen as the relationship book for the new millennium. }

Table of Contents

Introduction: Three Decades of Dialogue
Differences Between Men and Women
How We Got Here
Womens Yearning Meets Mens Dread
Getting to We
How Couples Grow
Sex
Boys and Girls Together

Volume: : pbk ISBN 9780465091140

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We have to talk." For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language, especially when they're uttered by a female partner. But it doesn't have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their pathbreaking and practical new book. Male relational dread",that all-too-familiar reaction set off by women's relational yearnings",can be tamed, and in its place can emerge true satisfaction for men and women.To demonstrate how this is done, Shem and Surrey take us behind the scenes of their popular workshops. We hear couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex. We watch them wrestle collectively with the gender divide in their relationships,the deep disconnects, or impasses," that reflect the vastly different developmental paths men and women have traveled. We see couples learn to bridge the poles of dread and yearning, to emerge from isolation into mutuality. We witness their moments of sadness, humour, and, ultimately, discovery.Filled with moving stories of real people struggling with real problems, We Have to Talk shatters the rules" and offers dramatic proof that men and women are not from different planets after all. It is certain to be seen as the relationship book for the new millennium.

Table of Contents

* Introduction: Three Decades of Dialogue * Differences Between Men and Women * How We Got Here * Womens Yearning Meets Mens Dread * Getting to We * How Couples Grow * Sex * Boys and Girls Together

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We have to talk : healing dialogues between women and men

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