Real influence : persuade without pushing and gain without giving in
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Bibliographic Information
Real influence : persuade without pushing and gain without giving in
AMACOM, American Management Association, c2013
- : hbk
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Includes index
Description and Table of Contents
Description
People won't put up with being "sold" anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up-and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship...maybe forever.
Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you "do to" someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague's or client's resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships. In short, they just won't work in our sophisticated, post-selling world.
In this groundbreaking book, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen reveal a new model for authentic influence-the kind that creates a strong initial connection and survives long after agreement has been reached. Based on listening, genuine engagement and commitment to win-win outcomes, Real Influence provides a powerful four-step method you can use to:
* Examine your priorities
* Learn about the key players and what they need
* Earn their attention and motivate them to hear more
* Add value with your questions and actions
Complete with examples of the steps in action and insights from real-world "power influencers," this one-of-a-kind guide shows that being straight with everyone means winning for all.
www.getrealinfluence.com
Table of Contents
CONTENTS
Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi ix
Introduction 1
SECTION 1 The Problem: Why Are You Struggling to Influence People? 5
1 The Dangers of "Disconnect" 7
2 Four Traps That "Disconnect" You 18
3 The Four Steps to Connecting and Influencing 33
SECTION 2 STEP #1 Go for Great Outcomes 41
4 The First "R": Go for a Great Result 43
5 The Second "R": Go for a Great Reputation 52
6 The Third "R": Go for Great Relationships 66
SECTION 3 STEP #2 Listen Past Your Blind Spot 81
7 To Discover Their There, Listen to the Music 83
8 Master Level-Four Listening 91
9 To Influence, Be Influenceable 107
SECTION 4 STEP #3 Engage Them in Their There 119
10 Use the Three Gets of Engage 121
11 Push Their Buttons- Positively 135
12 Engage Across Cultures 144
SECTION 5 STEP #4 When You've Done Enough . . . Do More 155
13 Do More Before, During, and After 157
14 Do More in All Three Value Channels 171
15 Ask Other People to Do More 183
SECTION 6 Taking Real Influence to the Next Level 191
16 Let Adversity Lead You to Great Outcomes 193
17 Influence by Getting Out of the Way 203
18 Influence Positively After You've Made Big Mistakes 210
19 Let Gratitude Magnify Your Influence 219
SECTION 7 Putting It All Together 227
20 Case Study #1-A Fuzzy Rescue 229
21 Case Study #2-Everything Matters 234
22 Case Study #3-Poised for Life 237
23 Case Study #4-Taming a Temperamental Group 241
Epilogue 245
Acknowledgments 247
Index 251
About the Authors 259
by "Nielsen BookData"